What’s in November’s Meaning? Gratitude, Gluttony, Capitalism & Colonization

I struggled a bit to find one topic for this month’s blog due to the complexity of joy and pain in much of the meaning of the holidays or events surrounding November.  This month, not only are we possibly ‘celebrating’ Thanksgiving, a holiday rooted in the the legendary stories of pilgrims dining with native people, but this is also a time of mourning, to recognize the devastation that white colonists have done to native communities. 

So it feels critical to practice gratitude alongside being mindful of the historical trauma and damage that deeply underpins the Thanksgiving holiday.  So what to do with the duality of Thanksgiving celebration and honoring the devastation and destruction of native lands and communities and peoples? Learn.  Give.  Deepen gratitude and giving.  

For Individuals

Deepening your gratitude can be a solo or a relationship practice with your partner(s).  The key to this practice is to start small as this mindful practice is meant to train your brain to see the good in the smallest moments and bits and pieces of each day.  I often joke that my morning coffee has appeared more often in my gratitude journal than my children.  (It’s smaller!) 

In this way, you are shifting your lens to see more beauty, more joy, notice more compassionate and connective moments.  Deepen your practice with reflective learning about native communities, buying holiday gifts from native owned businesses, and donating to native american causes.  

For Relationships

Deepening a gratitude practice with a partner is what the Gottmans would call a Fondness and Admiration Practice The similarities to a solo gratitude practice cannot be overstated.  In this practice, you are catching your partner’s positive contributions or noticing your partner’s positive traits. 

When you share these thoughts with your partner, you are actively making deposits in you and your partners’ ‘emotional bank account’ that you share between you.  Think of this as a buffer of emotional currency that you can draw from when there’s conflict or hurt. 

What kinds of things to notice?

Fondness

I love how compassionate you are with your friends when they’re going through hard times. 

Admiration

I admire how strategic you are at work, leading your team through new tough deals. 

Appreciation

I deeply appreciate you bringing me my coffee every morning (and how sexy you look in those jeans!).  

Deepen your practice as a couple by having a date night of learning together about native people’s history through reading, or watching of documentaries.  Commit to planned giving as a couple to meaningful nonprofits which support  Native American causes.

I am grateful this time to do this meaningful work.  What are you grateful for at this moment?

In gratitude,