Hooray for Pleasure! National O-O-O-Orgasm Day!
Oh! Oh! OH! HAAAAAAPPPY National Orgasm Day! National Orgasm Day, July 31, is the perfect excuse to celebrate one of your body’s coolest superpowers! Did you know the average orgasm lasts anywhere from 5–60 seconds (though everyone’s experience is different and many sources cite different times). One source I found noted that cisgender men’s orgasm lasts an average of 6 seconds while cisgender women’s orgasm lasts anywhere from 13-51 seconds (https://www.yesyesyes.org/blogs/blog/national-orgasm-day-the-female-orgasm). Oh and don’t get me started on multiple orgasms which many people have capacity for. Wild!
So what happens during the big body bang? During orgasm, your brain releases a splendid cocktail of feel-good chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins that can give a mood boost, reduce stress, and enhance connection to your partner(s). But here’s another fun fact: despite what TV/movies and social media might show, orgasms don’t just instantly and simultaneously appear for most couples after 3 minutes of intercourse! Experiencing orgasm happens in many varied ways and usually one partner at a time. Also, many people experience challenges reaching orgasm due to stress, anxiety, medications, chronic pain, hormonal changes, trauma, relationship concerns, body image challenges, or simply not knowing what their body might like—and all of those experiences are incredibly common. And many adults are still pre-orgasmic, meaning they haven’t had their first orgasm….. Yet.
This National Orgasm Day, remember that GREAT sex isn’t measured by whether someone has an orgasm. When we shift from goal-focused sex (“Did we orgasm?”) to pleasure-focused sex (“Did we enjoy the experience?”), we can create less pressure, more curiosity, and better intimacy. And, ironically, taking orgasm off the pedestal can actually make it easier to happen! Whether you’re having solo sex, or enjoying sex with a partner or partners, explore what feels good, communicate openly, and give yourself permission to enjoy the journey—not just the destination. And if pursuing orgasms feel frustrating, painful, elusive, or your capacity has changed over time, you don’t have to figure it out alone. An experienced sex therapist or other qualified healthcare professional can help identify physical, emotional, and relational factors while offering strategies to improve pleasure and sexual well-being. Because… everyone deserves a satisfying, shame-free relationship with their sexuality—and that’s definitely worth celebrating! Happy National Orgasm Day!
In gratitude,
